Hawaii Holomua, Volume I, Number 39, 2 November 1893 — NOT MADE OF WOOD. [ARTICLE]

NOT MADE OF WOOD.

I cannot help admiring tho candor and exactitade of a popular young Chicago Boiird of Trada man, the initial letter of vliose snrname is ihe first in the alphabet. and who responded frankly as follows to the qnery of a frieud who asked him the meaning <'f hia wobegone, not to say disheveled appearance, a morning or two ago: “I don‘t remember all I did,” said he, wearily. ' hul I’ve been trying to figure out what the whole blamed thing cost me. Ive got this far with a tabnlated sbiteraent of expenses, and I think it iucludes about evervthing. Take a look at it. ’ The friend did so, and read: Drinks before dinner $ 0.80 Diuner 2.40 Cigars 1-25 Theatre tickets for self ami 1 a chitp I chanceti to iueet ( 3.00 Drinks i>etweeu acts 80 Billianls afier the show .60 Supper, with wiue 8.00 Attempt to play vi» Cy \ .]ayue's farc> gume j ‘" '-16.00 A mau is not made of wootl 10 00 $ 52,8» An invitation for a bracer was immediutely tendered and accepted. — Tov'n Tupic*. Neighbour: ‘And so you havo a little baby at your hooae? Is it a boy or a girl:’ Little boy: ‘Mmuma ihinks it's a boy. but f gness it'll turn out a girl. lt’s always crvin ’bout noihin’ Personal —Magistrate: lts very disgraceful that you should beat your wife so onmercifully.’ Prisoner: ‘Well, your worship, she aggrawated rae by keepin’ on sayin she’d “’ave me hup afore that bald 'eaded hoki ‘umbug.” meanin’ ytr worship.’ Magistrate; You re discharged. T “Sav, pa,” said little Johnny, why is a gambler always thinking of the day of jndgement?” “Ycu get rignt ap to bod!” cried old Brown, huulinp around for the chestnut bell. “Decause,” yelle»l jobnny, | dcdging his sister’s new doll, “he is always waiting for tbe last trump. — Jndge. Teacher—Wfcat is meant by the title “Sir?” Dick Hicks—That’s only what a girl sa\ s when the wrong feller kisses her. — Tmth.