Hawaii Holomua, Volume II, Number 06, 8 January 1894 — PHORCED PHORAOING [ARTICLE]

PHORCED PHORAOING

j Successful Raids by Geneml Scissors. PoiitK‘iau—"I doo't kuow wh»t ; is tl»e niatter with nie, doctor. I [ cau t lie on the righl side.” [X«tor—“That’ei not strange. It Ukea a sUtesman t<> dn ihai/ > >ur-t;«CMi womau—• , You get right out of here or I’H «11 my husband.” Tramp—*‘Y’r bus band ain’t at home.” Sour faced woman—'How do you know he ;ain’t?” Tramp—“I’ve allers noticed, mum. that w’en a man is marrietl to a nonian wot hoka like you he never is at home ejt eepl ai meal time.” When sermons are ten minulee and never alale or flat; When congregations rise and pr«y lhey pass the hat; i When (ūlenee jingles evervwhere, banks go not to smash: j When hill collector> are t« spare. aiul t«etiple buy fur cash; When politiciaus joiu the cburch and eeaae to ptot and plan; , When lhere wre Hftv ofhces to every blessed man; | When orators ienow when stop; when i>oet9 ce»»e P> c»|>er: When whole eouiiuuniiie» admit lhe\* cannot nm the i>aper — Then will the great millennium dawn brightly; hut alas! You’ll die while you are waitiug for these things toeome U> paeal Al a rccent meeting of the Synod of Ihe Paoific a statement waa made timt no young man born and reare<l in California had yetdevoted hituseifto the gospel minisiry. The Yolo Mnil carries out the inference thus rai?ed by remarkiiig that there is any quantity of them who have devoted themselve9 to raiaing heli. The worst troubie anybody has are those that never happen. There is a good deal of gi>spel in the right kind of the hand9hake. , Wheu you tala l<> a man about his sins, d»n t »tand over him with a club. !t isn’t aiways the bc«t man whu get? Ihe biggest grave9toiie. A preacher wiih the dy«|>ep«ia slanders (io<l every time he preaches. Better Uve in a house withuut windows than in a house without bouks. The prayer» lhat we are prou«l of never receive *ny attention in heaven. Ao man ean get very mueh of an edirc*tion wiihout g«ing to hia ' mistnkes. You c*n’t tell mueh »boul a maii'n religiou by the noise he make» at eamp meeting. | There isn’t anything we know tbat soroebody didn’l have U» burn hii» fingers U» find unt. The devil is doing hie beet to make |>eople Ihink that heil ie » deiightful suroroer re«ort. >f It is hanl to believe th»t s nwn w ho doe«*n’t agr«e «itb u» ean be »lU>gether right in bis be»rt. |f you d>n’l w»nt yoor b*y U» turo out l«*d, d«>n't be»r down «oo hanl on Ihe grindsU>ne. Make your muiPkn ie»ch you something. M «se» never lc*t hia ! temper m tbe wild?mes» but ooee. || • 1 The inan who ts irusting in G«xl with »11 h>s he»rt never tremb>e» fur the er»p «heu he he»r» it thunder. Tbere »re p»a»ple wbo ihiok it lhey st»ud oo the river b»nk »«»l l throw » s|raw u> » dr«>wmug ro»« I they h»v« dooc en*>ugh. I S»wing »n »«ch fm»a your y»ni|stick m»v sbriuk tbe cU»>rof keaven . jso *m»ll tb»t )oa ean’l get lbrough * ii.