Ka Hoku o Hawaii, Volume XXXIV, Number 1, 3 May 1939 — Untitled [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

Kuko-Xuts hās ltad a liard week, ir..ii) tw<MH\ pages of news. unei dosu't feel inelineil to h t : untiy at this mouiēiiL If rliis : (.Uunn is a hit snur this week there - a rea-oa i'or it. so pleaise don't too h;ird 011 the poor fello%v lf i'oluuin lias tempor;irily lost - t ot its kiek. , mjch neede<J invention ls a audget that will automatical!y re- . .,iove patrons away from the faoxes at the post offtce ās soon as t..ey take their mai! out so they wen'i stand in front of their own box wliile they read their letters. This is a favorite stunt of wahines. DLSERT POME No. 24 Ou tue wild Kau desert lu Ms c;i r sits Joe Byers; Cat a corner too short Aud ble\v out two tlres. GOOD ENOUGH T0 PR(NT This joke eame to Koko-Nuts through the post dfWce: Doctor: "Why do you have BF765 tattooed on your back?" Patient: "That's not tattooed, doctor, That»s where my wife rān into me with the car when t was opening the gates." S0URPUSS SAM SAYS:

"The uiore 1 ihink of our Itepre>entuti'.e.s tlie l>eitor pleased I am to kuow thiu «»nly thirty of them ean be elected." ASTROLOGICAL FORECAST The stars do not encourage work under this sway. whieh IHclines both men and women to Jndu»oe in idleness. So that's the reason Why our J meehanieal staff hates work so badly lately, eh? The stars are to blame. New Warcraft WIII Be Fast— Newspaper headline. Well, there wouldn't be mueh use of havfng any other ktnd these days. Evpr\]pn.ly !>nt have a oham e t-very yoar to "enjoy his atipual vaoation." THIS 18 NEWS Loeal radio station put a new march on its program yesterday morning. AT THE OLD SOLDIERS' MEETINO "\Voro j»Mi a partU:Jpniit in thP W».rlJ Warr "No, just a sorgt int." THIS CHAP »S LEARNING FAST

Th<« is th« Bifl l»Un<J $ra Scout who w*« to!d to w«igh th« »ncHor, He e«mt back an<| teld ih« eommand<K it yJlefflh«d t% *ctly 104 pounds 6 ounces. A feliow mv< r kn«.ws j«s«t how kIĪI}' ho !<><.],v H»tll 1»' i«'Os h!s owo pii t«rf ttSt Siwltf: A# <ont«nt«d *• « »oldlfr a wsek after psytiay NŌ INBFJRATION I

Strrnw?lni>N. Uie bmtiUr«Mt)ī, lihmi'i <*t# *W* *»vV ti. r .I.'*.. «nj tt.Snji si,« '* Min sut Wtt*U fr»nt Tln w!'. u . f- »«- Tr.r

i;itio» of Hawaiian fever !n plaln Knjrlish i<= spelled L-A-Z-Y. A CRACK AT THE IRISH We've been ribbing the Scots for u long time, hut this time we'll take it out on the Irish. Tw<> Irislnnen were told to elean oiu a well. Mike was being lower<>«l b.v I*at wlien suddenly he crled ont: Mike: M»at. pull me up!" Paf (reassuringly): "You're all fi<;lit Mike." Mike: "Pull me up!" Pat: "Go ou, you*re all riglit ■" Mike (oxasperate«l). "Pull me up. P;«t. or m eut the rope." 1939 Fable: Onee upon a tlme a newspaper got out a special edftion that dldn f t have a singte m!stake in it, LtMMER-LICK Said a fool[sh young lady of Walea, 'A smell of escaped gfl<i prevalls." Then sl»e searehed witli a light And later that night W«s collected —In seventeen palls.

"I think the tegislators did exeel!ent work thls session and cure nobody wi!l object to a Few additional Waiula WafTloiron".< brot!ier, wlio a soldler, has Md some pieturos takon <>f h!m<sPff, one wlth a inas>v nn, We l!fee the one wHh the g«s mnsl£ the l>est. Ferdirand the Bu!f became famous because ©f hls love for «weet sm«Hs. Lucky for F«Pd?nand he never tried to Usten to . • radio program, Ho. hum! *

INFECTEO EYE | t.. D. 9weetman, of th« Und«r. wwd Typewrlter Ag«ney, Hilo, lt hav!ng dlff?culty "*eelng hU wty *round M the*e days. H« la #uffeHng wlth a badly infected •y«. The infection wa< acQuired ■t W»« resutt of a dlrty tow»l. However, the lnjure<| «rbit U m proving «atlsfactorHy.