Ka Hoku o Hawaii, Volume XXXIV, Number 48, 27 March 1940 — Untitled [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

Small schooner detoiired 4,000 j miles to land a eook in Hawali. II , wasn't so very long ago tliat anothov j Cook detoured further tlian Ihat to dīscover t;hese islands. J Fresno (Cal.) man has been ; asleep for 59 days. That's nothing. We know some cbaps less 1 than a hundred miles from here ( who have been in that coftd>tion all their lives. It (ook t.his writer idm<'st hatf a| oentviry 10 discover (hnf he \vas. hom vears too soou. i

BUT NOT TAX FREE '

Sandy MePliei'sou is j oue of the Scotchmen | Arht) eame ■f o Ameiioa years ago, aftev ho;iring! it was a free country. , :

"A lay for you," said the rooster io the young Leghoi*n, as she was! leaving on the steamer for Hono ( lulu. i Haif, s«vs some wiso c»y. prows| at ;tppro\imatf>ly )ialf an ineh aj monlh. But Ihe ba)bcrs don't be ; Uovo it. Xeither does Doo Hill, Van; Hixson, Lanee Clark. and Sam Spencer, Shatterproof spectacles wiU be on the market soon as the result of a new k»nd of a'ass recently perfect ed by chemists. Now fe!!ows who want to sock some bespectac!ēd ehap won't have to ssy, "Take off tHem fllasses!" Ths best butlers are Eng!ishmen, but the best scutt!ers are Germans. DESERT POME NO. 66 Stalled oq tlve desert īs poor Willie Huff; He had too mueh 01! But of gas not enougli. 1940 sirr>He: As tnconspicuous as an Orangeman on St, Patrick*s Oay. PHEW! WHATEVEft 1T 1S IT'S PLENTV STRONG

Sireamluies. tlie offic<?> #ttAog has boon iifing a new bran<l of perfum<? lately We dui't know wha( tbo nanie of it ls, bu' ii soro ls a scent-satiob, FARMERS SPREAD 00-0 P MARKETtNG.—Newspaptr headlin*. We alway« had the īd«a that the only thina farm< -s spreaci around wa« fert»luer. Feolisli QU#StiOD No ' ' Piil the barbet t«lk aiueU wink 5 >oa w«re gettl»g your lian tui Of on« thfng we «re pt«y ccrtain f wheever $onj:i Heiie, the : ic«qu«en, marri«s tt'wont-be an otd *kate. wen? an Kn&iish *irl and somt?bod\ askot?. ilow , are >«00, Soojltlu t v v.njhm-ī ihls r>'p!,v: "Oh, juss iiin-iHiL'. Toj> pln*'" .;]

SOURPUSS SAM SAVS;

"U loek a m»n like' Ab« Lineoin free th« slaves. but it tcok ene '

llk« H*nry Ford[ t<s fr<« the pcd«s> ** ■ | Aad thor*'« .Ihe lri»Uuia» who |{,oij evea *dth ihe rAr <Jo;«kr hj mu i-u; ] ias #!)> moiv -r. h;>, m*. ] TH(NGS"WE COUtO D0 WITHOUT . j fotk* with to*gu««* ' Sharp a« « tack ' Who u> m«*n thing« ( Behind your tack. j Vcrs Wott, ?h* p:kio o' Ko>hTs st«,yod ou? ?.'0 lo?!# !" ( tho I»>t ni«ltl oaui.

to \york tliis moming in a bad n.ood. When soruebody meutioned Oood Friday to lier slie snapped haili. "Well, if this is Good Friday, i- T ive me blue Mouday!" Now quite forgotten j ls M?ss Vera Stout; When boy friends caHed i She was a)ways out. | J y(i simile: As di«am>oin(ed us J ihe lrishnian who eouUln'l flnd a> n-slsnraQt ou Bt. Day thrtt | ■served corned beef ami eiil>bnse. | THE "EYES" HAVE IT ! It shou!d be easy for the folks ; Who Mve in fair Hawaii To see things as they reafiy are. ] And here's the reason why: j Just like the bird that sees al) | things— | The owl that's very wise— j Because you know Hawaii | Has a!ways got two "ii's. [ 1 BULL-ETJN I

I "Makiug out an iiu-ouw t«x I pon is snuiiiy a nut((<-r oC eoueeui uaīiou." Waiter Henderson. president of i the Soup Siuppers Society, who ] recently lost a!l hīs te«th, says' j "5.0.5." has a new nieaning. 4 Whiie it is still used chiefly as ; a signal of distre&s, it is also a | reminder that the daily menu is ; the 4 *<Same o<d Soup", ir>dicating j a condition of distress at the mere thought. CAUFORNIA MHHEn N £\Y PENBIOK IPLAN 1 \ev,si>apei h ad line. Tl\e lnst i>lan Cslifornia tried to j>ut ovei' was "ham and egg?" but ln. didu'i haieh aud ?omo '.hine wop.i \vrotii; v.iUi the liian. Wanda Waffleiron, the belle of Waiakea town, has a !ot of bratns after all. She was seen buyina a eouple of pounds at the meat market this morntng. i'he Russians gol a swell rul>liown trom tiie Fiuus. Nex» uuug lhey arc iu liue £or is a uiassage. PO£T'S CORNER A giri whoSe name appea!s to me 1« «am« is Chow, But better stiH ls one that has The name of Miss Lau Lau; For Chow ls what the soldlers ca!l i The food they dally «at. ! And Laulau ls Hawaīlah lood 1 With many kfnds m«kt j ~A.C, J THINŌS wrve VET TO SEE j (No. 4) • A ir ; c 1e;u1oi that doesn*: j look iind Uke * moak«y. ) lt was quite easy §Inger } flogers to c!imb t© fame. 05dn*t j she have Astaire* l A k«nvaaiua one who ca» re I i!u\niti«n back folka first jstartf*a hn)ins automobiU>s th&i | :ttways !>veaVtn;: t!own aa*\ ! M h»* s«n> to hoH» r ī After cooking Pinian<Ps goose. ! n«*t things the Russian bear j m«y try te do is ch«ng« hims«;f ' 1«to ) Turkey gobbser. 1 OARKEST MOMENT | \ViuHtj h»vs yout mouth &\\ 1 »>v s jt»!!y frrd of lanib ste« , v *uti the s\ . atut "l ui wvrj, slr, Ihm j x\e"s>» a!i out of st<nv aod dutlu> W oiUuu i k tu<ik« msei"