Ka Hoku o Hawaii, Volume XXXV, Number 15, 7 August 1940 — Untitled [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

This eolumn is opi>n for conlributions. lf you haee a good gag, send it in and lee wili puhīhh it, and give your name ihe credit.—Koko-ftuts.

Caiifornia"s popuhilion is iwwi plrueil at iu-vonling to the hitest eeusutJ, mn iivUuiing sibout i 2,<XK),tX>O hol>oes :nnl bimlle stiffs who traverse the roa(is iHHween Diego and Yrek«. l>oth ways. Those "hot" magaziries that we ysed to bt ab?e hay on th€ j newsstands are not being offered ! for sate any more, and some for- j mer patron has .been unkind | enough to say that a certain pro- ] minent women's organization had something to do with their sudden disappearanc«. Why, the nasty man| How preposterous! DESERT POME NO, 84 Ou the %vil(t K:tu desert, Pull of eocktails and rum Is stall<Kl a h'iie saiesiuan Whose ear\s on The hum. BULLETJN

"lf lwere;ā yoūii(| m?inl they vy|ouldn't have to draft ME into th« army. I'd join up voluntariMiss Vera Welt, tlu> Eeid' 1 x glatiiour girl, *lropi)etl into i>eamhardware *lore a days ago to buj" an as so >!u- eouUl trim lier pear trees. Slw toM Aleo Deslia she wanted one of Kouae-Ber-lin axes shē"<; been ln i aring so mueh about lately, »*ut Alee persuaded her to huy a saw instead. With an ax, Veia would be u dangerous girl. Owe niee thing about being lr» the army is that there U always somebody around to make up your m»nd for you. LIMMER-LICK There wa» a $oun£ fello\v iia«sed liluek. Wlio Jived' near the l>ea<'li tn a shaik : And, like UoluUiion Crusoe, ! liis loug hair it grew so Thai it hung all tlie \va\ down his haek. Bet you dort*t aet the point ln ; this one. j Mrs. MussoHni» looking for hus- ' band who has been mtssihfl ha!f i the niflht, to sentry at bomb- , proof o#l}ar; ! rt Has he Benito nljht? n I THE CONSCRIPT j With l>oard aiid J.>thes att.l !odj;in.u. Atid seven ditues a The <iraiuMl YanktH' dv>uj:l>Hoy WiU jīet >nl><l:vmial |>a>. He'H have ».■ w .• "!'out his hilU No i'haiiee i>' >oaiu v>r stray, An.i l>e wonliwinie sor\K-e l'or liw oiū V' S.A. Hi!o's rumof factory*s iatest productiōn is that a wet! known business man whose front name is Adoif is seriou«iy certsiderinsj changmg it, due to that cognomen's present wnpopularit>. THE MUSfCAL OUTLAW

A Ttuns '<•*-»•».-"•««". A horn « f so<»th{w£ touo VtlM Jkhvv<>>l tt.X> WS,V H W4'iS HPSX

lintendevl, (»r with other w)iul-horns ukeli i l»lemled t I»ut wheu it's ahu*ed throiighout the huid, liy e> er,v si!ly, weird s\ving haml It's lost its eliunn, heeoiue a bore Ajul a jnusit.al ouilaw for ever- | Uloi-e. ; j Aiul so iu iiulij{i)utioi), j We'il like to <irive it from the DatioD, Ueloi'e our uerves ii ruiely wrjtcka, Anu senā it uaek w Adoi£ Sux. FAMOUS. JACKS Jack, the Giant Killer . The Jack of Diamonds. Jack of all trades. j Auto jack. | Jack" Garner Jackje Coogan. Jack Benny. Jack Lindgren. Jack o*Brien. Jack and Jill. Waiuia Waffleiron. the helle of I ! Waiaki'u iowii. says if she doesn't ! a hiishand so<m she is going to | eiul ii ali, liecau.se of the utter i youthlessness of her exisīenee. ! The saxophone was a good in- ' Btoim«nt until it got into bad company. ] ■. OUQHT TO MAKE A HiT

Little Streamline, ptir liule £roni J offiee stooge» wants suggestlons fv>r j a eostume for the uest utasyuerade j ball, one that will be inex|»eusive | and representative of soiue count ry. I Why not j«st wear a tMeaf aud ! re|vresent Ohile? j HYMN OF HATE j A guy we h*te !s barber Peok* ! He !ets the ha)r ' Drop down our neek. oommcnist loses <;itizkns | I'APK H —Newspaper headline. Well. why doesu't he run a "Losf* Ad in the C!as«if)ed Columu? SANDV OUGHT TO KNOW

Ba«dy MtF»herson | •ays he always did Uke j Scotch girls the best, because ne niatter what a ! man does they never !

uive anythina away. 41 Aye, raon. : they'r« Qr-r-and flwr-r.re!!s." S.l?n on the r<>a(ls!do ;-,s \\ui < m.'i « tOwn: 40?« d!ēd l*st ,voar of g«,s. a» ihhaM it. 4T pu( tt light«Mt «itttoh tv it. 0B it. ' ANOTHER HYMN 0F HATE i Two mugs rtam*d Ado!f , W* roun<j!y hate, . B«t one has atreādy M«t a 8»d f*te, • One'p a dk-Utor ] Wlth t»«*rt of #t»ne, ' the other lnv#nted ! A 4»wnNl ***oph<>«c ' ASTftOtOOICAL NOTC j "ln th* hon>set»i»es of i u hh | u'iTth\ Uio »;!•«<.>," .-so s U\e:vkt,\ j As!tv.iugy Ma««»iuo, l'iiiluH ' V*»««S! alw«ys slwws ui» imuuimm ; lv« i*>r >vuhoui Hs »3d ilierc woaui 1 (w 1 »«> fwHns for uH"UhI\ , «tui w'uU | i'in uu>!<Mi\ t hv>re wouUi N 1 ih> uiu j [ hy !«MUO of Iho j>!\» J : >■« ula»v iv>. ; t ,;u. ' ,0t',,4. k ( .: - • t , r (>{ M {ho V,!'. h,-i- -! ■■■>"•■'■ ■ ■' H U'UK VHO«UOn. * j SOURPUSS «AM SA\S. !

J mo*F ?elltr* g»t fer it i* ~ j lur« Q\<& " \

Bimi «» n\«m of Mīlo thttaiw: tx»o MANV ia siuNi»s WITH I'AUKKU

! \ TMRILL!NQ MOMINT | Whw y«u'r« br«K« «nd <>*< | «ome pr««ina bUU and >out | monthly p*ych«ck ce*t>*» a d&} or | two *fM«d of t»me. Un*t U a ! 9r»»sd and e!or»«u* f««lmy! | l,*fsro»H!rtvy ; Otuv thv;v w.',v \sUo .«>uM j» t k K. ai;.; ; s.> shrt\o 1 3* ;>utu>v 5«ko« wilh K. oo\ r .a:r KXoirv:n am!vt>rn u\t īoNwn"