Ka Hoku o Hawaii, Volume XXXV, Number 16, 14 August 1940 — Untitled [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

This eohimn is open for contributions. lf you have a good gag. send it in and ue icill publish it, and give \our name the credit. -Koko-Nuts.

POME TO MR. MOLOTOFF Oh, Mr, V. M. Molotoff, Why don't you stot» uml ra!l it off Aml let ihe little Baltio - states nlone? KvvsituaH,v you'll it For in the ne* k you'U it — Alhl for yotti* si,itin' da\ you niust Htoiie. You don't like l'iu-le Siiinuiy, You d«n't llkt» Johnn,\" Rull, they don't iuiiid ihe things you say,— Thev know of \vind \ ou're full. You eall these niee boys "iuisers," You'd like 10 slū tlieir throats, Tou think by [}amos llko this You*re ponna get tl>eir gnats. Now, Mr. V. M. Mo':otoff, You boast of your In stealin>r lit:tle eouutries— Who's nest? {we'll j:3ve three guesses). You never did 4n lumest thiug, You eouliln'i if you ti*ied. And the world will sliout r witli laughter When it hears that yuu have djed. WAIAKEA WILLiE SAYS:

The <Jurn foo» that writes this colyum !eft me out of it !ast week and made me so aJI-fired mad t ain't a-aonna say nothin' this week. ff 1 can"t have my Uttle say regu?ar every wek, then 1 dunt want nothin' to do wtth ft. So laugh that off, Mr, Smarty!" THE CONSCRIPT Kow tfuu we"re alumt to have ponscription, we're renvtnded ot Stedt»an's faino«;s pooni. l *Tlie Rookie." one vorso whleii mtght be appropri;it«> fhis tlme, Says <V»rp«u-ut MiUlikni to i»rtvate Maofadden, "Yer belt unhookU, i*ēr oap »s *>o < rookit, Y« uias* not be dhrank, B«t, he ye !ookit!"

Tbe termite's ntghtmare; **t Dreamt 1 Stept ln Marbte Ha(ls, w —t. A, Lahaina. Maul. I§i l ; As aln\ost mm |rfetely forsrotten a? N ille. SPOKESMAN PREDtCTS DRAWN OUT WARFARE. — N«Mit>«p#r h«adtine. W«lt, we're not so mueh worH«d abcut the drawn out part as w« «r« abeut b«ing drawn in, OESERT POME NO. 85 Out on t)ie desert, Qulte weary and s»>re, Haits a very old ehai» Who ean'i drtve «nj tnore, WE WANT T0 6E A CHARTER MEMB£R

Littl« Str«amtines s*ys tf»at 'Tf th.'« hot w««th«r k*p* up wueH Jo»*oer she is ts> » metti«B «nd «rgarsii« a nu<ii«t c«mp, i>> w l»»"nr(i i!i a o»riu»; "Hooklo, r*vliif. #*w»ks»\ h» k tv M»nry Ford wae 77 en Ju'y SO, *nd c«i»br«.t*<l thf dA> ry quitt ly, We % ve nct?ced a frw cf h!s Mo 4htf T* e«r# around hfr( tk*t «r* •bout th» *sns? Age - but th#» 4W*\ mov« *btMi QUttVy

A COUPLE 0F STORIES T0 FILL IN "Can I stiek this wallpaper ou uiyself?" "Y'es, uiadani, hut it will look better on the wall." Henrietta: "Would you refu«e to go out with a man Who had made just one mistake?" Mabel: "Sure, who , wants a man with as little experience as that?" HYMN 0F HATE A eook we hate Is Benny Brash; All he <'an eook ls beans and hash. SOURPUSS SAM SAYS:

( "Sympathy is what i one girl offers another [ in exchange for d«tail«

of the r.eason why. she fell out with the boy friend." UMMER-LICK (Au oh! one) Tliere was an old maii from Nailtucket Who all his cash in u buekot; Uut <hiUj;hlor, iuhihhl N'im. liun ;t\vay with a uian — Ainl 11- for the hiu-kei, Nantucket. LATEST WAR JQKĒ "Yes, l know it's a barrage, but is it ours or the enemies?" Legexi(iari": Oiiee upon a time tliri fire aepaniueui uu . aiunn aiid uuliod.v rushed out to tke street to see tlie eugine go bj\ HOPPINa THE QATE

S*ndy McPherson went to the ball game last Sunday. On his re> turn a fri«nd a6ked: *An' did they hae a big

"B§a gate, did ye say?" queried Sandy, n ßia gate? tt was easi!> the biggest gate t ever ctimbed ower. M SLIGHT MISUNDERSTANDtNG AJfred Mattos, genial wiuilow elerk at the HUo post office, eoimibutes tliis one: Presideat liooseveU especiattj likes jokes when they ure on He leaned back iu Lis oīralr aiiu r-oared wlieu a gvieit. rv eently totd him u true iuwklng hini. A 2s"egro laborer \vas stAUdiUj; on reunsylvunia Aveuue as tUf I'iom dem's car si>ed by, ta \Yho'< *1at?" tio nsk*\l a \\v.i;;in stardimr r,onr Wm Stio replioi? ii »*?v«.h*ent Roosevelt, "Whe «11 mert on iiiotorcy o'e< v " the N*ejrro wtmte<ī to ktio\v. "Whv. they"re poUeemen," rei»Ued the woman. "\Vhat he done?" asked tho »ro-BULL-KTIN

j 1 den*t min4 J>«ylns th« ext;a ; penr.les on th« amu«emenl tax. ] i t«.nk it's f»ne to «ee fwnnies so j uueiui." Wmuli» Wafti *•{»»»», \lu k Wauikoii \wnt flsJi!»tjf aH I>\ 'f 'w.h«»r ov<«nlnjr «u K*W> Its».v. \V, h \vj»s tl»«» Ihs» l>yv I!,.uh\ AM» iHiN 1 ALI UX IVl\