Ka Hoku o Hawaii, Volume XXXV, Number 24, 9 October 1940 — Untitled [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

This eolumn is open for contributions. Ij you have a good gag, send it in and w?e uill publish it, and givc your name the credit.—Koko-Nuts.

Spain must be waiting until the eud of ihe bull-fighting season to j:t't iiiro the war. Life's darkest moment: .When you find you've lost the e!ection by one vote. HE WHO KNOWS Ih* who kno\vs not, aml knows not thnt he kno\vs not, is u fool — shun him. Ile who knows not. iuk! knu\vs ttiat he knows not, is a ehiU! — teach him. -He'who knows not, auil knows that lie knows, is asleep—wake liim. He who knows, and knows that he knows, i;> wise—follow hiui. —Persian Proverb. HEARD AT THE MOVIES "Oh, Donald, I love you so!" "So v»hat?" There is a blg r»oss in this town who has everjthin« iu liis oft*ke Susurtni against tlveft, except the eloek. lle ever.vbodj \vutches that. DESERT POME NO. 93 Out on the desert, ' r _ ; Far fcom home, W« got inspirat(on To write thi« "pome". MOST ANNOYiNG

Llttle StreaimTīīes has been madj all day. T6ster(lay she went to a bargain sale at a downto«n store. | So mauy women were tliere lootīng | for ,bargains tliat tliere ivus a nearriot During the scuffle, Little Streiunlines had her lial knocked off. It landed 011 Uie barg«tu eoiuiter and beforo slio eould recover it an alert eleik had $o!d lt for $1.1 S. Australia now has more than 115,000,000 sheep. — N«wspaper flller. What an tsieal plaee for peopie who have difficulty ln Qettins to «leep. You folks who eannot Oet to sleep, Try counting onee AustraUan sheep. There's one thina about Wanda Waffieiron, the heile of Waiakea —«he's not a« bad a« she'« paint•A . ■i Harry Oroutt *ays It*s? mueh safer no\vaday< tu l>e iu tlie armj thau lo be just a civiliao. SOURPUSS SAM SAYS j

"There*# nothing like j i a Qood picture »how to ■ qutet one** nerve» arvd ,

taR« the twind on wacry t e&p«ci*lly if you ean find that do«sn*t ptay up $om« «wing band." Anoihor iuv(?ntion is a niuio for ;i ihuo. s<> it oun . To i>rothiiv a softor i ! SLIDING SCALE OF CANDV , Oup genlal friend. A!f Mattc«, i «f the Hile post ofTice, cOwtrJbut«» another one for thi* eolumh thU j w*«k: WhM« h« wa» court?ftfl her he | bouQht $I.SO ca«d>. i While he wm engased he | bought $1.00 cand>. | Th# we«k befor« th«> v*ere | married he bought c»nd>. i OuHftg th« hontymoon ht j boueh| 80-cent cand>. j Third week «fter marriaoe €0- j c«nt can4y. i Fo«rth week after m*rtiag« 5& J ca«t eandy. j F<fth week aft+t m*« <;*s« S0 . «<M*t C«nd). | tl*th WMk after marriag« £&■ e««t cand>. j l»w»«th wMk after m&n iag«~ t p**ftut fcr!U'e.

Tho.se Hollj \\ oud stara Have 110 remorse; When they tire of a iuate Thi\v just get a divorce. A GR-R-REAT SAVING

Sandy McPherson has found a new way to beat the high cost of iiving. before meal time he eats_ a pieee of

candy, whieh spoits his agpetite so that he eats very littie. Foolish question No. 171717: Dt you really thiuk those astronomer« ean teii the exai.t date pf ai eeiip^e? "Vhe height of persistence: Golng to a movie show unttl you finaiiy succeed in winning a B?n--go, s«reeno or Wahoo Jackpot VOLtT I o A t. OANDIDATEi OPKN I.oro SPKAKEUS—News l>aper heailline. We'li &iy they have and some of ti>eni liave already pu their foot in tlie cavity. People sve can't understand: Movie fans who sit in the front row. | BULL-ETtN

! ft Writing editoriais is merely a | question of acute eoricentratiorC 'tm working MY WAY", etc., The people of Hllo, espeeiallj' the |\vonieu fo'ks, liave heUied a great iuany youii4' feilowa throu£h eollege, jiKlging by tlie uuuihei* of inagazines tliat eome throutfli tho Ihlo post office. 1940 simile; As low as a political candidate'a bank aeeounl af. ter the primary. SAD STORY On the screeu of a wide cafe door A house-fly hung, as lie'd oft done before; the oi>eu door he iuade a dash— Aud uow Mr. Fl> is a pan of the iiash. A st«t*ment w« never heard: "My frtends did not urae me to run for office. lt was pureiy my own idea." And there"s tbe II lu chef who ut*ket» & t>i«w tbai he e«Us "Eu* tUuMi»!>Ue Stēw" because he puts v\ei\uluug he has iuto iu

WAiAK&A WILLiE SAVS: "Wb«A a man on a diet to r94it<t*, n Uket « mtBhV> lct o' wUI thi tab!e an' Match »sjmeboiii d«vcur a Ur\je piaU o' ham an' A«4 toviorrov utght will K» oae 44aturctay ai|rt« th«t a kH <»f fo!ks wwat b*ve tlwe to lake a b«uii aod furtlK»rttK>r*s H K>t of thcm w»Mi't fact mueh U lb*> aiv {MiUieal IHL W£,£KS Sai4 th« tarm«r*« wif« t« ihe druggt«t: &( «ur« and «aU plain on then> b«ttle« vthich i* fci the ivirse and «h 4 ch i» (oi nv> hu*band> I 4<m\ want nelhin' vc hmipen u thAt h^m." ~H» HH«