Ka Hoku o Hawaii, Volume XXXV, Number 30, 20 November 1940 — Untitled [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

This eolumn is open }or contrībutions. lj you have a good ] gag, send it in and lee u ill publish it } and gite your name ihe credit. —Koko-Nuts.

IT'S THE FLU lf your bones all aolu». And your inuscles, too, And the food you eat Tastes just like glno, And you've lost yonr iu>p And feel so hhie, Hrothcr, there's somelliii>'g \vrotig — You'v<> got the fiu. I£ yoa leel iill goofy Aiul three-<iuai'ters dead, - Ami you have an awful I'aiu iu the head, Aud your eyes run water And look so red, And tlie doctor "Go straight to bed !" You haveu't a cold — You've tlie flu, instead. You're appetite's goiie, You re l>rain's in a vinrl, You van't even be niee To your very best j£iri, Tou'd showt ]>er as iiinok A? shoot a squirrel, And you cuss Ihe darn flu Till you īnake folks" liaie eurl. The symptoms here listed Will tell you whae*'? wroug, To get well again Wiīl oost you diug-doug, It may 3ast for \veefcs; Or it may not last long, And inaybe you'll never Again feel qulte strong. It'3 qulte a sad story, Not pleasant to tell, When the flu goes around It's hard to stay well , Your old head feels cracked Like the Liberty_ BeH, — In plain English words You just feel like liell. BULL-ETIN

*M'm too tough to flet the flu " FROM SCHOFIELD BARRACKS The <»f the stoppe<3 a D>e«s i>rder)>- as lie \vas oarryiny a soup kettle out of the kitchen. He«>, y<hihe ,simpi>ed, "give nve a taste of that." ObedienUy, the Kig Islacd national guardsn;ian hiunied him a lad!e, ard the oftk-er ta*ted the li<juid. "Great Se«w, do jou eall that soupr\ he roare& "No, slr," reiSponded the orderly ineekiy t "thut*s dLshwater L, V., SdM>fi«ld Mussolii«lV wurshi[is !ra\ei aiso sink fast. FAMOyS WARES Be-ware Hard-ware. Chtna-ware. Hamilton Ware SŌURPUSS SAM SAYSi

"Lets 'o fōtkt hāv« » «t*rted bu«ine*« on * «heeialnna ar»d madc A

«t, feut iht v»ay some of | th<Mm tk(d i'>tc l>jinkryptcy the>e day«, th?y must h«v« started wllh | • tipper. w j OCBCRT POME NO. 9« ot> ttu- tl«isert 1(» jK»or Lt(ūfi Oht>w ; At fort\ p«>r ?uuir He 3uiī n (iumb <x»W. ital?ans ARE THROWN j SACK.—NfwspAptr h««dnn«. - lik« t:h* "smaii fi»h" th«> •rfc. 4>orts l>ukv 1 "loUaoeo lMtf**Wv" <#■ r< ;*>i a- pinuūlui lo g«t *. MJ v'n>ia»elS, AuotWr iviu«tt;K i o u£j Ui | i

Leflendary: Onee upon a time there was a man who didn't a sure cure for the fiu. Foolish <iuestiou >.0. 3030: "Do you think E. K. Fer«audez really | has āuything to <lo with briuging so uiueh wet weatlier to HiloY" 1940 simile: As uneasy aa the feliows between the ages of 21 and 36, A loose nut to tlie went, Admission: One simoleou. But the nut, you see, he got in free By posiug as Napoleon. NOT TR£ATING HIM

When we asked Sandy McPherson the other day how the world was treating him, h« sai<U **it'B no been tre«tin'

Wanda \Vufrioiron, tlie belle ot Waiakea. re;ul in the papers that ths Italians had taken Castoria. She said she always thought onli' rhildren took Castoria. In view of the near appeoaeh af Christmas, loeal pr\ntina shops ar» bea'nni"a to get all their extra X's toflether. "X'mas" saves a >ot of space, but looks silly. MODERN VERSION Mary had a little lamb, (This sure.sounds awful silly.) He followed lier around because His name, weil—it was Billy. WAIAKEA WILLIE SAYS:

"lf you want to get rid of unde* sirable tn-iaw«, or country eousins, who Hke to make you !ong ju«t e*t plenty of raw aarlie and they won't stay j -Vnoiiier neede<l iu.veutioti i-s a ; irudg(?t that wiil automatkaUy pho- ' u>gruii!i elieap skatos wlio lry to |.vlip iiuo the eireus \vithout a ticket . btvau*e they have a frieud wlio is takiag the adinissions. | Giilette safet> razors used ta cost ?5. But OiileUe shaved the | price. j There is au uncouiiruied rumor ialMKū lhat Kalumaker Feriuvudex ] has lieen offered a big eoutraet to |brtug rain lo the u»ld\vestern dusi'bow!. \vhore tlioy really īieeu U. WONDERFUL NEiGHBORS

i Little the oß»ce I eul.e, 6i>» h«r nenjhbor» hi\e , kior{'tiM«d «vc(>thi(vi) «he h««, ficm liee lawn mo»«f lu h«r i<i« creaut fr««i«r> Th« eni* tiung ; th«> h*vcn't ««ked her for >et īe . b*r port*b(c Q*r*Qt, Wil,V SK> \\liv> do[ m Uuie w<vrk «luriu|j th«? ,\tfar Unv«i| to h«\e man> "nmiiml \av» tK\nsr _ o*rK««t M<w««(U; Mh«n ( y«w Kn\t it th« circy« Atid d4«- ( <ssv«i Ui*i >«u h*v« i«ft »U >o«{ j «t hom«. W«utdn*t !t m«ke yo« m*d! Turko,v wauu 4-H. , Uv<' Aud i;U;, M.i,\tK> IUUor i» . 41)« txl rh»uk«Ci\4»4 lv> »U.<t sUi\ , «f II

heU* «i* io whi«h t« r«. | §mHI «K* HM# tht/ i««t wh«<« tH« , r«mAn(S«. »h«w mu tn i«*a» A.\OiiiW4 UOX i i- fai l)F v\a«i« SIKU\ 4UvAisfc '