Ka Hoku o Hawaii, Volume XXXV, Number 44, 26 February 1941 — Untitled [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

This eohimn is open for contribuīions. Ij yuu kave a good gag, <n>nd i( in and ue uill publu>h iī, and givv your name Ihe credit.—Koko-Nuts.

(o>unos; t Y llilo Trihune Herald) Surui-tl;iy wns the hīrthday of «ieorse \\'ashington, who not only wiis tlte tuther of hL- eountry hut alsn is iro<Uted with never having t<»ld a lie. He U*ft that for t<» j <10. At'rer you have roa<l tl)i* ooluimi, <lear reiadev, we'll set you ile-1 t ido wheth<T we ure <loing a good Job or not, Scott Burke is a pretty smart feller, but he couldn't cor»vince the revenue collector that he shou!dn't pay ineome tax. He totd the collector that he was just working for Love. Collector Raymond Chang is a smart ehap, too, and handed Surke a tax form to fi!l out just the same and told him to bring it back not later than March 15. Foolisli Question N'» l . 22777000: Po you ihink our le.siflntors> will ■lmve auy <lifft<-ulty iti balunoing tlie hu<lyret tliīB year? TO A RADIO rm\

Dear radio, īt ts of thee So many folks go on a spree. You drive the reat : musicfans wild— Campared ta you a ]ung}«'s mi}d. What you produce īs stuff that's sour, But nitwits tisten by the hour And think the junk you pJay is grand— Recor4ings from some punk swino band, Ads that tel) of remedi»« That cure alt ilts from itch to f»eas, Diatogues by some otd Jan«s That gtve you nothing but «ome pains, Waves of most discordant not«6, Noises like wild wotves Or goats. Sueh stuff coming o'«r the air Makes reftned folks tear iheīr Makes them want to «tay outside Or even plan quick SMic>de, *n eaeh eafe they btaze away Prom ten to fourteen hours a day; lt is an act that*s very rud« N«t fo?ks enjoy th«?r foo<!. in fact it is most indiscrcet To tufn folks sour when they woutd eat, For people Mke to eat fn peaee And that's the time such nolse should cease. So let us pray for better day* When there's no radtos tn cafes. l*ptHlsry : UXH.II H ther«» :i irsuummt ownei' wlu* dldn't a r»dlM turn<M on fust hl«st ;u iīk'hi ? īuh'. He tin.l sU'li a 4joosi itusi»oss ttuu lu' jiot fk:ti in slx lUOtUtIS. j WHAT'S tN A NAME? | H«d of a wett known Hono!utu firm ts a man by the name of Ah Fat» but it woutd be most unfair to refer to him ae Ah F>Vhead. tl»41 mihs!o. A» u-;ui>i>atou( u| *uarrkHi n)im's cscu«f for v viulns iu>uw luu ;(; ni.jjht. j DES£RT IK>ME NO. 104 ] St«tted on %h* dwt j U Sale«m«n Oe Orcat; At flfty per h©ur ; He hit • g«at. | \V«iula \V;4fff«r*.ni, Uh* £Uutor • Jg|rl Of \V!<Safc<PH, likuiKOU iUUI thf «ihor v1;»y vi*n l T v*o s w iH'iiUM' K> I>IU ihOUl iu^ i*r 'tiHr ? or inAM'hoaa, j ODE Tō A~iUsrNE6S MAN tC*ntrftuted b> a ,

' Sock hi,m on the kisser, put him on the pan, Ro!l him in the gutter — he'» a j business man. Pillory the sucker, pake him in the eye, Jump upon his torso—he's a business fluyj l H«8 he built a business, to ftnormous heights? Brand him as a cheater—never jnind h<s rights. ! Does he give employment? is the payroll bifl? Put the «rons upon him! Toss him in the brig. | Does he pay in taxes what the iaw calls for? Why, the dirty reptile shouid b« paying more! Blast hūn in the headline«, charge some crooked acts, L«t this be your s!ogan: "Anythlng but facts." Has he made some money? Get* hls scatp today— Say, where do you th<nk he T s tīving, anyway? —West Coast Drugg!st, An<i there's the patriotlo editoi who pui ul! Xa?.i new& in the i>n tier's ftfth ooluuin. I 'TIS A FAIR PRICE, MONI

} "Hoo mueh do ye charge to | press a pair o' iroQ&tnV asked 1 Sandy McPherson at the cleaners* ) *Thfrty cents." was the rep!y. | «A« right," sald Sandy. "Just ] pr«&s ©ne teg for 15c an<| nt have j me photograph taken stde v!ew 1 inst«ad of the front." I SOURPUSS SAM SAYS: j "Onp of gr<?>»tos! optmi!stB i* lrtw man wtio «t!irrtos lils 1 sf^nosjrai>h«>r «nd tlitnks lie BtiU oan tltotat? to her" Babies walk *oftty because they cari't wa!k—4»ardJy. SE2 WAIAKEA WILLIĒ:

'Tttf ft?Uor who Tmy Ms lii>*nso tm the Ibsl minuu» niay l>o is wis*>r īlum īu» UiH*. rortisvi>s ho lio bo ablo to ms^> the nest twiyin<?nt on iho i\u\ an<.l hell Im> that mueh ahead, ai\y wu,>\" ' Sporis,m«f' h«V< fc«n CAtChlns ' pt?nty of bsg W*h 'n Koiu ' t«r« iu r -"8 tht p*«t v.«tV« ' and a*tttna t*« | nev*»p*ptct over their ptht eal | ch«», 6ut ]ust w*tt unt» Coyntj Attfrrn«> Mart»n P<"Ce Bi>e« on hU n«xt f!»hlna trip, and th«ft ! Utt«n to hlm tft! at>out th« btfi on^ —the on« th»t a^ .Ivkl&'U£ Vy somo of >hv lotsor> \\v lmvv u fow of U>« a» firws enu»toy thosv erss o» tfc« t«iiis ef glinuovsr ln>u*dj t'f j Dir4tHt Mom#nt; Wh«n y««N* «hty twc d»y«* worV f«r th* m©«th anti you fic> to th« off)c» to e«t your pa> *nd th* t«»h(«c htnd* you * 4ett*r fet?T •I*4 * r®c*lpt tor y©wr poH Ufc, WewlonM »t m*Vc )w f«*' aT>» n^?

SW!NGY W!NGY

Llule Streajuiliues slie ltfeesj good niuslc but she the kind; tftis fel3ow S. Wlug puts out. i WHAT THIS COMJMNIST THINKS OF Cf NSORS (C«n«ored) Have you a little yo Yo iu your family? Judfling by the news reports from northem A' iea, the roads there carry only one-way traffic. BULLETIN

"Gerinau iuh! Italiap admirals aro in complete agreemeiU for wagiug a eommoii sea wsir against Eng-_ lan<l." —Xe\vs disinuvli. $ifln in a Honolulu restaurant; j OUK FOOD tS SO 000D THAT EVEN OUR COOK EATS HERE T0 A REVENUE COLLECTOR \ I never knew wli;it a Faitliful Heart meant, ' Till I was wooed by tke T;ix Departuuent j Oome March or June or tlie bleak I)ereniber, The world iuay forget me, but you reiaes»ben ; —€ontrib«ted b> X.Y_Z English Home Guard« got so tir«d waiting to shoot down German parachutists that they shot ! a eouple of RAP planes dowti durI the helght of thel.r enthuBiasni ! te shot>t s©mefcody or someth'mgA tough tor«ak for the RAF boys but good pract!ce fqr the Home Gus»rds !t proves that th« boys ean shoot, anyhow. AKINA IWl'KI) FX>R BPKAKKU. —NVwsp;uior headlme. Oosh, vre dldn t \liink thej 'd have i to ?ro to t)iat extCfiMie. | On« ©f the h*rdest thina« in | life is to convinee the averas« | person that a man ean be an j lrishman without the nec«ssit,y of ' I twvi«ō «n "O n «nd «n *posttophe ; ] to beg»n his n«m« WUK. Nesther ■ { doei he hav« to 90 by' the n«me of , j P*t or Mlke to qu«Hfy at «ueh. i ; ! I 011 ūt h«*vy s»u>\vs, tliv! i mn)!vjitaiHs over In Alh«nia arv | i haviUK iHmsider«l)le dlffleult,v witk j thelr sla\ln?. I Former Spanish King Alfonzo I XIII i* eeriOusly Hl in ltaly. Pro- ] ! babty ju«t * home*kk, *nd ; ! tired of Kving 0« sp»gheUl A hot j ' t«m»te or « Sp*ni*h oroelet on | ! the menu onee In « vilhUe mt«ht improve, the »}tuetlon. Hoxv t«» * tHwid l«hlpr him vmtv ! NITLC« LOVtS C«»tDRtN ! —«n |>Hoto of ? I D*r F«»h.er J Vea »)# )«vee to mueh ht J •Nik** «v'i out ©f thoui*nd« cf | | «»* j ANO THK NAMt ti NOT CA ! •tV. tITHt«. {