Ka Hoku o Hawaii, Volume XXXVI, Number 3, 14 May 1941 — Untitled [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

This eolumn is open for contributions. īf yon kave a good gag, send it in and ue nill publisk it. and gii<- your name the credit. —Kokō-Nuts.

(Courtesy Hilo Tribuue Herald) j Tlie preseiir \vorlcl \var has ari(>iiipli>lied at one thins. It h;is s\ippHecl :i lot of new \vor«.s for the flii,tioiiary. j Foo)ish Question No. 222325; Do you think American warships really will convoy supplies to Britain? MAI l TKACHKK l'UKXY.—Ne\vsjiaper lieaelline, Cosh, don't siiiiie people have ihe fiini\iest nauies' L»fe's Darkest Moment: When you eall up your radio station and ask why your favorite morning program hasn't been played and you learn that it was played an hour agOj because you have oversJept that long. Wouidn't it fnake you feel silly? DESERT POME NO. 112 (>ll the vast Kau tlo>err Sits poor Sally riper: '('ause sonietliinji went \vroiijr \Vith her \vindshieU3 \vUier. "Speaking of portaits, that is something that looks like you, and |f jt doesn*t it's good-—if you get what ! mean." Legendary: Onee upoii a time there \vas a postai vlerk \yho never put a letter in the \vrong l>ox. ASTROLOG|CAL FORĒCAST Accordmg to the stars, this ls a tusky time for public meetings and banquets at whieh d!stinguish speakers appear. Too bad the last word isn't "disappear." Wanda Waffleiron, tfie glainour ?irl of Waiakea, has a eousin wlio ls studj ing to be u hone sp«K'ianst. Well, he's got a good heael for it, aeeor<JiHg to W;Uida. Ae Sherman mtght say it toslay: The bustness of keeping out of war 1s quite a bit of hell also! Judge. HIP HIP HURRAH! Tlk» nieniem Imhi jrirls one sees, Inte»t on self-ini]*rovfinieiit ( Shoul(i chang!H from to eellanese To emphasfia:e their niovement. AMONG OUR CONTRIBUTORS (From a Molokai reader) Fibs are useless things, as many have found out. Like the «oldter who asked for !eave to go home and help his young wīfe with her spring cleaning, lo be told by the commandmg ōfficers that he*d had a !etter from the boy's wife saying to "keep hlm there, as he w;s no use around the house." After $a!uting and «tart)ng to go, the so!dier turned to remark, *'Co!onel, there are two people *rt this rOom who hanWe truth ioose!y and I'm one of them. l'm not married." And the story of th« co(ored minister who said he was going to preach on **Uars," and asked how many had read the 69th chapter of Matth«w. Pr«cticaUy aH hands wer« raised. j **Oat*s right," said th< rev«rend, j *y©u is just the folks t alm to | pr«ach to Dere ls no S9th «hap t»r of Matthtw." r^..,riin j n rti \ th<M steor. the »n ' « Irt>n ' \va> pi e»ei' hi.< teiH?er ' rtank. J J

"Th«r* wcr,*t b« j»nv «eed tcr Ā »e»sion of th« tcgiti«

AN EPITAPH Mary ,!.>.nes. here lies her hones, For her death li.id no terrors; lU>rii a ?ood ?irl. died a ?ood girl, Xo runs, no hiis. no errors. —Va!e Reeovd. QUIT£ SO "Oh, mama, lookl" cried the little girl on her first visit to the country. »'There's a duck! And it wa!ks like it had just got cut of a rumble seat!"—Sent by Francis Lyman, Hi!o. Another h:\dly needed invention 1s an inflāted. rnhher Boled shoe for theater pntr<»n* who ins'ist Ti{.w>n keepīn-jr time to the imisic W)th thetr hi}r feet. A B!T TOO WEE FOR A MON LIKE SANDY When Sandy McPherson paid a visit to one of his neighbors & few nights ago, he was treated to a "wee drapie" of very good whlskey. "That whiskey, Sandy," said the good neighbor, "is 20 years o!d." "Aye, mon," said Sandy, "rath- ; er small for its age, don't you think?" ; SUFFICIENT PROOF Ainl hexvV another l'i'oin one of our regular coi)tiil)Utors, Francls Lyn»an of Hilo: Juuye T. E. M. _ : "And \vhat ,|iuukes y.6u. ililnk this man \vas jiiruak?" j uxTu-er Hanaike: "Well. your hojii(>r, I s«iw this iuug liauging on to ( a. lire ularm box at ihe Ilaili aud j Kinoole inter.se<-tion. He dropped a j eent !uto the opening, lookeii up at j īhe First Foreigu ehunh doek, and jSiūd -lloli Sniokes- I've lost īen j pouuele j WAR POME { Shed » salt t«ar j For the men of lraq, j They ieft for th« front, Now they're on their way back. Those Anzac« th«y m«t Were decldedly tough, j And the tribesmen atl said ; Th«y*d quite enouah. •; ——- I * 'ilie lrish must be going soft ?U«ri«Hn i»ljiues have hlitzkriese<l j their eountry twiee in the past ! week or so. and still the Irssh won'i i ti}rht haek. Or have they stopped jmaking brieks in Ireland? I SEZ WAIAKEA WILLIE: !

' M T»ie on!y thlnQ werse than a s man whe knows tt aH !s a weman ! whe hears tt at!. w T-;> T>> llook ■ ī>on'l Vny 1 .1$ īv ■ *. rea! pstf!et Kcwatfa>s i» a : man whe Ii t«rry he hai otiti one ineow* to Q(ve to hU couhtr>. SC©tCH POĒM <Frem ©ur W»(naK« friend) Ms« <\-U{* hist \Vtfo hss lUiUt, But \vh»t*s a ktnd o e Ilt» d*voho hluiso", for jvlio^ 11«» tvlit»U> <hlwg surv onou^h. If4t A* e\cit\ns «u * odsf <r.vn™.-ttee "icc! ■ n I.v t'«U<4H s iW • v ■' 1 4 ™ N\L.vt. U s ;i; «li « as;tu WilO h*K •«n i. uo» u mwis tvs ou «> ioot H*.H«* A miu' hoīi* Ir\UM *t«o ri|?ht

Corr«ct thU Mnt«ric«: The 1941 leg<slature lcft nothins undone, and was faiv- to a!I the people of the territory. HYMN OF HATE A girl ls l>ora Poke; j It takes her hours j To a joke. AX!S PLANS NEW OROER 1N AFRICA. —Newspap€r h«ad tlne, But a$ Bobble th« tn>»wōrtJU Scot«h "po«t # wcote t w th« hest laiei plan® of mlc< and ,me" sfi gang | Il.t;cr st>>!o tho sxv-astilw from Mu l that*s \vhy he j;;rtor ovoryVodj'ti bO;Vtp. **Anoth€r Onie upon » t;me there wat « bu«tness fr W that placed 4 l&r®e order for pnntina an4 <KdnV ask ill the , prfritshop4 J« tow?i for btd«. MOOEKN <*RANNY * rfv, l Ua\c tlic af j UTnooH offf "Ab, yes. Tour smutnwtbiyr, I I " vklLv 4 *Sho b suukia« Wr 3u.miC' iWiou | *n the o?d da>« *4i!crs iook«d I fsr ««* «;rptnU. N**a<U)« the> | for p«H»toj>c« *nd W««*er • «Chmitt*» j | TJNrs mssv: CAIX .USAIN: J