Ka Hoku o Hawaii, Volume XXXVI, Number 4, 21 May 1941 — Untitled [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

This eolumn is open for contrihutions. If you have a good gag, setui it in and ue u ill pubtish it, and give your name the credit.—Koko-Nuts.

(C<uinesy Hilo Tribune Tlerald) It is believt?il now that the reastm Hiul<>tf lle>:s, <.;erniany"s No. 3 inaniae. weiu to Sroilaiul was bei'ause he tliou,£rlit the S<-iHi.'h w.mhl m»ver i;ivt' liim away. SWIFT MAN HERE,-Heading in Tribun« Hera!d. " Must. be referring to one of those janitors who work around the county building. DESERT POME NO. 13 Stalled on the desert' I s pnor K i tty B1 and ; The sun is so hoi That she's srettiug all tanned. Foolish Question No. 788762: Don't you think the ctimate here is changing? BULL-ETIN

"Wti never have to hunt for our janitor. He"s aiways on tlie job." ENOUGH The new cslored parson ( catling for the first time on Mandy, was puzzled to hfar her eal! the ehildr«n, Eenie, Meenie, Minie and Henry. Mandy's qu»ck repiy was, "We don't want no Mo'."—Francis Lyman, Hilo. Our legislatorsi thev are baek Aiul rather lilue. 'Cause foiks are ahvays asking theni, "What ali dW you a>lk.r dor * Life's Darkest Moment;....When you go to the restaurant an<i order a iovely steak for yourself and then discover that you have no more powder to stick your store teeth with so you ean eat it. Wouidn't it make you fairiy boil! MODERN VERSION Mary had a little laml», And then slie h;ul sonie eliieken; Mary's doitlg quito all rlglit, You never Uear her kiekin'. A COUPLLE 0F GOOD ONES Her«'s a eouple of cotttributions for this eolumn that traveled ail the way from Boulder Dam: Customer: "Have you any b!ue ointment?" Druggist, "No, but I have something Just as good; W.P.A. otntment." Customer: "Will it kill 'emf Drugg.>: "No, but tt will jmatse *em so lazy they won*t bite. And her«'s the other one; BeH Boy: "De man in room *eben has done hung hisself." Hotel Manager; ' ! Hanfled h»m--«elf? Did you cut him dowh*" Bell Boy: "No, sah, he ain't dead yet.'* I»L«ASE ENLIGHTEN HER

. Lm»f ihe i>ffkv i> woiHH'i iuji a hn\T t«» pav 1 ir,. <>n lh<Mr iH'l in<vtm\ Th« onf> thi«Q 4bout meho Mtt th«t h«n"t tmprcved in th« in*l y**r ©r two i« the OUESTiON~^Ntr COLUMN l"H»ar Koki» Nms : "t"ar; you tol- ] ww h<>w n»rtii> wnrVt\l iu t)io j <»h. h«lf.

Legendary: Onee upon a time there was a *barber who didn't te!l the customer u e needed a haircut. ,\Stv SOVIET AH> Tt> L»KM».»Cl» HIES —Nt*wspaiter headliue. ! iat's about ihe same a? a ,tnouse h oat for help. ASTROLOGiCAL FORECAST Money will be spent extravagantly throughout the summer, it is prophesied. Quite so—it will soon be vacation time. NOT STJNGY Sandy Mvl'hersou muy be a blt U«hr, bui he'd giv<» his right arui I<> a friend—pnn idin.tr he had iu>thiiiff in the haml at the lime. One reason why Wanda Wafffeiron, the Waiakea g!amour girl, never got married is that «he never stops talking long enough for a man to kiss her. AN EPITAPH lTore lies ihe of Williani .7ay, W!io bis right of way: He was ridit. (ieaii right. lu 1 sped alonp. H«t he's jtist as <le:ul as if lieM been \vrong. WE MUST TRY THIS ONE j SOMETIME | Hartford, Corm., March 18 (UP)—Olek Ta»cott, who works in the directory department of the Southern New England Telephone Co. tells this one on himself: Aroused tn the middle of the night to answer an insistent ringi«g of Ws telephone. the voice on the other end of the wtre inquired: M Are you an official of the t«lephone company?" "Yes. what ean I do for you?", asked T»icott. muffMng a yawn, "Jußt tell me how it fee's to get ' out of bed at 2 o'eloek in the moi«ni«g to artswer the wrong «umfcier, w barked the questio»er as he banged the recetver, HEARO ON WAIANUENUE ■ "Of course you oan't beUevt' !everythin?i you heai'." "'Xo. but y(ui oan rojto;U īt." Have you heard the one a6out | the Hiio woman whaae husband is } so abstnt minded that he aiways forgets their wedding amuversary, so she reminds him of it every si* months and gets a present twice a HYMN OF HATt | A guy we luue j WilUe Baudi?; | ile taiks too euueli | Aiui swit»iT¥ his haiuls. I ■ — j Why t« it that when >ou have | ts hurry to a movie show and you ī don't have time to cat your din- ! «er fir»t, that thty a!ways have to | «how * «oene with people eattng [ in it? Or is īt ju«t * ColiXi<Jertce? SAO STORY fVor < Uaj>. ho K>st tiis h;uil o;irne<l !*l £;Uno lhut's wUii vlKv. Ano fov lu 1 "! out uo - Ho'n iiaw to llw on rUH», <Sar-aoe mfn wīH sov">r in thr mor»ey ag»in. Tt»e annua? brake t««t?ng c*mpa'sft wCTI begir, shcrt »y Am>thrr needed invi>uUiMi i,* « rr*»lffTiM (h?n wi|? nHt«vtusOo;tH> ii> y<n k . h;\\ s > Sw««|i out « eooi C<lī For reckle«s J<* Ka k, tm««he4 « Labelted ' Men At Woik." Oue (tf <»«r UauHiku.iL i\xtiWrs

j«nys ho d<x>sn't care ho\v nmn,v; jSt>ot,'V. iokes we pr?tvt, iis: jtho\ dor"t oost ;USjthUlg, | ] SAD $TORY | Standlng up tō,e*t | 1« P«r«W«t H*mm; ! . Mi«took «n old BMt ! ' *n lhnot*nt Umk ! I | I Tho hest way to mh» tWiso | .fWtn is io | 4awn. ssuvs Miss Tora Wett, tlio' tu*M\s fU»ior i\rl. Xov> ISBV, Itiat wi>mierful | K»ntutVy *qulre m4rdcd 5.»? — «f, tlM6w ha* r«t«me<! t« UK« r* . v*ft§e «n him. ]|