Ka Leo o ka Lahui, Volume II, Number 178, 23 April 1891 — Page 4

KA LEO O KA LAHUI.

"E Mau ke Ea o ka Aina i ka Pono."

 

KA LEO.

 

THURSDAY, APRIL 23, 1891.

 

NOTICE.

            Copies of the KA LEO O KA LAHUI can be found every morning at both the News Agencies in town. Price 5 cents a copy.

 

A Teachers Homily.

            Last weeks daily papers informed the public that Mr. Theo. H. Davies and a Major Russell R. A. [British Royal Artillery, we presume] would hold a "special service for children and young people" at the Y. M. C. A. rooms on the following Sunday afternoon. One is led to enquire what there can be "special" about these two gentlemen,—the one a presumably wealthy merchant and the other—as he hangs on to the R. A.—presumably a professional soldier, part of whose business when actively engaged is to destroy human life—that they should set themselves up as the special teachers of religion to children and young people, over the ninety-and-nine other regular teachers located in the City.

 

            We are not insinuating for one moment that these two gentlemen were not actuated by first class motives as in such cases practised and recognized, but the incident illustrates a phase of our conventional christianity, wherein the shoddy and the humbug are as solid as armour plating. Would any shabby looking pilgrim who lived up to the doctrines of the New Testament and consequently had no bank account, say the Apostle Paul for instance, who had only one coat and probably a patch on his pants, and who never carried a gun, be invited to take a hand in anything special or ordinary in a Y. M. C. A. Hall? Not much.

 

            The underlying principle of the current modern Christianity, is the assumption that any bloated individual who has money enough to hire a hall and a secretary, and to print a prospectus is qualified to spread Christian knowledge among the poorer multitudes, and that every body who has not a bank account ought to be dry-nursed in Christian doctrine by any bottle-nosed capitalist who chooses to take a hand in the movement.

 

            And this naturally implies @ other assumption, that wealth is always acquired honorably, and that poverty is always acquired dishonorably, else there is neither sense nor reason in a plan by which the rich snuffler always starts to teach the poorer individual who does not snuffle.

            Nobody ever made a great fortune by Christian principles, for these principles are constructed on so strict a plan that they make the accumulation of wealth impossible. Hardly anybody ever succeeded in living up to the doctrines of the New Testament and having enough over to send even a small donation to any society for the spread of morality among the poor. The gospel that was promulgated in Palestine is so exceedingly uncompromising as to make it almost certain that the parties who spend coin in the spread of Christian principles need to get some Christian principles to spread.

 

            The average philanthropic movement is not an evidence of philanthropy, it is merely a proof that the philanthropist had money enough to get his name in the papers: and the individual whom he proposes to teach and "elevate" is often his mental superior, and the person through whom his bank account swell.

            Things in general are fleeting and unstable, and the aggressively pious section of the human race is ephemeral in its character, but the art of cheap and greasy piety has no end.

 

            It would be interesting to hear the Artillery officer preach from the words "He that useth the sword shall fall by the sword" and to hear him give an estimate of the probable number of children who are orphans, in various parts of the earth, through their parents having been butchered by military majors, while engaged in defending their hearths and homes from foreign invasion—the Soudan in Egypt for instance. We are not in a position to know whether in this combination of gospel, the sword is mightier than the profit monger, in appearing in public as a standing contradiction to the doctrines of peace and self-denial of sterling Christianity; but we would humbly suggest to any pious "R. A." and P. M. who have a high pressure impulse to spread themselves out in benedictions to young and old, that "Darkest England" is just now a promising field, where owing to the tradition born of centuries of abject reverence for capitalistic evangelists and majors of "good family," the rural Hodge will exist, in all human probability, for another half century before he opens his sleepy optics to the fact, that the wealthy sleek capitalist who is seized with a yearning to lavish heavenly gifts on the poor, "without money and without price," has made the world very weary, and was fortunate in having hitherto escaped unkicked, unbattered, and unhung.

 

The Liquor Traffic.

            EDITOR BULLETIN:—"Makua's" letter in the P. C. A., of 18th inst., is a curiosity in a small way. Bewailing as it does, the increase in the consumption of alcohol, the writer says: "The temperance sentiment of this community is not as earnest and as active as it should be," * * * "one reason," etc.

            Why has "Makua" been blind so long as to require the potent salve of the "genial" irrepressible Jones to act as ophthalmic physic to clear his mental and moral vision?

            Why did not the outraged "Makua" grasp his pen when E. O. Hall & Son were exporting some thousands of gallons of "fire-water" to the Arctic Ocean in lieu of Bible and Christian literature?

            We can only presume that E. O. Hall & Son belong to the charmed circle, of which "Makua" no doubt is a prominent member, and that the latter having "the true instinct" necessary in "missionary endeavor" thought that in the formers case "silence was golden."

            Out, with such damnable hypocrisy and inconsistency.

            MAKUAHONOWAI.

            The above was handed to us for publication, it having been refused by the weak-kneed and timorous editor to whom it was addressed. Being ourselves freemen and in a free country, uncontrolled by no monopolist, we admire the courage of the author in pointing out the hypocrisy which largely permeates the motives of the professing Christian teacher in our midst. It is unpleasant, no doubt, for some to hear the unvarnished truth set forth in glowing letters, like that on the wall of a palace, warning the impenitent and mammen worshipper of impending doom. Still, it is done to warn and to save them that teach blindly from preaching future condemnation to those who preach such mockeries of the truth.

 

ON DIT.

            We have at various times insinuated thet the Royal Family of Hilo is suffering from chronic moral obliquity. We consider that our course has been fully justified by the publication in this morning's Advertiser of an extract from the Hilo Family Record. The public will see that anyone capable of such a "pome" would not stick at murder.

            Long Meter.

            The next day on the black sea beach

            The Sheriff stood aghast

            At the bungling work the Alice made

            Trying to tow those masts.

            Such was the wreck of the Whetmore

            In the afternoon in the rain;

            To save what he could the Sheriff tried

            And his labor was not all in vain.

            Now we leave it to a candid public to decide if there is not a long career of unchecked crime behind such a production.

 

            That a certain ex official was entrusted with a sum of thirteen hundred and some odd dollars by a leper, to be deposited in the Postal Savings Bank only two months ago. That the ex-official is a likely candidate for a prolonged resident at Captain Mehrtens Hotel, for worse than burglary.

 

            That the innocent public are being robbed by light weight and old spring ballance scales that are all on one side—See to it Mr. Marshal.

 

            That our uncle Samuel is waking up to a realization of the fact that he has no coaling stations for his big and growing fleet.

 

            That we shall be glad to see our wealthy and generous 'Onkul' established at Pearl Harbor, but only on equitable terms to be approved by the next Legislature.

 

            That no Insurance Office should take a risk on the match boxes called store, on Nuuanu St.

 

            That the Premier lacks moral courage to assert his supremacy in the Cabinet and weakens down every time the Minister of Finance and his Deputy look at him.

 

            That four "politicians went out" driving last Monday in a very flashy and aristocratic turn out, but when they were shipped back to town in a hack the flash "was all out of" them

 

            That it was a meeting with our 2 1/2 Premiers which shipwrecked the political crew and dumped them in the dust in front of the Marshal's house.

 

            That Wilcox has a republican idea in his eye.

 

            That the position of officials and favorites, has thrown all order and precedents into disorder.

 

            That the people of Maui are clamoring for a Republic, and that each island be allowed State rights. How is that for popular government?

 

            That only one Hawaiian brought a contribution to the ruling official family in Hilo for the hookupu to the Queen. This is hawful patriotism, for the usually demonstrative and childlike Hawaiian. We wonder what has come over the sweet spirit of their delusions?

 

            That Mr. McGuire of McGuire Express Co., is on the list as Port Surveyor of Kahului, and as a consequence Maui is up in arms; and the Premier swears that Billy must be informed first and his consent obtained, otherwise the little major will kick, and, then, oh! then!

 

            That Hon. the Marquis of Iao, says that he will have to forgo his trip to Paris and the Holy Land, on account of McKinley's unseemly and inexplicable conduct to the sugar planters of Owhyhee. Sorry, Iao.

 

            That the planters were gulled to hasten there sugars forward to market, and had to pay towards the last as high as $10 per ton, but the agents "over there" decline to pay the "rise" before the "fall" in prices; and the colonel has the laugh over them all. Moral: Thus it is that all illgotten profits from under paid lober, will dwindle and pass away, and thus it will ever be.

 

            That the judge, with the book under his arms is bound for darkest America, probably to start a model farm on his own plan for Salvation Army purposes.

 

            That an accident, which might have resulted seriously to the future prosperity of the country happened day before yesterday to four embryo ministers, who were perambulating in a two-wheel vehicle, under full head of steam, and going at the rate of 2:40. The horse, in going by the coach containing their Excellencies the two Premiers of our present Cabinet, shied in astonishment and broke the shaft of the donkey cart which held the quartette of future ministers. No other damage was done, except a little lofty tumbling however, a little bit swearing, and a jolly good laugh,—by jove!

 

Variaties.

            The will of the late Dr. Adler head of the jews has been proved, and is what the Hebrews call an ethical will, with religious maxims for the family to stand by. He particularly enjoins that they are to have nothing to do with usury, which he regard as the ruin o the Jewish race.

 

A ROMANCE.

(CONTINUED.)

GRAND EXCURSION TO THE PARADISE OF THE PACIFIC.

THE BOWOWEEAN GOVERNMENT

Being desirous of securing

A DesirableClass of Subjects

TO POPULATE THEIR COUNTRY!

And recognizing the superior moral and intellectual qualities of

THE JAPANESE PEOPLE!

Has made arrangements with the Imperial Government to give every one a chance to

Visit this Wonderful Country.

            FREE. A free passage will be furnished including food; FREE medical attendence; FREE interpreters, free houses to live in including wood and many things. The Bowoweean Government also guarantees employment to all for three years at least $15 per month.

            Such was the nature of the anouncement that attracted such a crowd. It continued to set forth at length the wonderfull attractions of the Bowoweean Islands. Nyama not thinking of accepting the liberal offer, moved on.

            Nyama soon spied the sign of the village tea shop. On entering, his attention was attracted to a number of persons seated around one of the little tables on which tea was served. A little man with very oblique eyes was just exclaiming.

            "It's a humbug, sirs, you may be sure there is a trick about it somewhere To give something for nothing is contrary to the laws of nature. The fools who go to Bowowee will get caught in a trap."

            "Hold, sir!" said a well dressed individual whose appearances denoted a man of importance.

            "You forget the lessons of modern science, modern science," he repeated, looking around to note the effects of his words, "which has given us the printing-press, the steam-engine, the telephone, the electric light, and a parliamentary government, yes gentlemen, has give us politics. Now, what does modern science have to say on the question of population?

            "Why some countries are overcrowded while others are uninhabited. Look at Japan now, there is not soil enough in the empire to grow rice for the people; they are absolutely trampling each other to death. On the other hand, in Bowowee there are thousands of acres of the most fertile land in the world, lying idle and untilled for want of somebody to cultivate it. There is land for all, right in the Paradise of the Pacific. All that the natives do is to lay under the bread-fruit tree and eat and sleep. Cocoanuts, oranges, mangoes, apples, peaches, pears, grapes, guavas and dozens of other fruits grow wild there, and ripen all the year round; all you have to do is to pick and eat."

            That's all very fine "interrupted the little man," but how do we know that these people are going to do as they agree; where's our security?

            "Oh, nonsense," said the agent contemptuously, "you country people have no idea of the world. Haven't I told you that it is a government affair, arranged by a solemn treaty between these two great powers.

            (To be Continued).