Ka Wai Ola - Office of Hawaiian Affairs, Volume 13, Number 9, 1 September 1996 — The beauty of pupuka [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

The beauty of pupuka

Kīna'u Boyd Kamali'i Trustee-at-large Hawaiians are better at scolding than at praising eaeh other. In Nānā i Ke Kumu, Aunty Kawena Puku'i sadly noted that in too many instances we had retained only a partial and flawed under-

standing of our traditions; and often intentionally hurt eaeh other as a consequence. One of the best examples I know is the practice of ealling babies pupuka. Onee intended to deflect any jealousy or harm to a baby because of its beauty, another harm is inflicted unless the intent of this practice is shared with the child. I have

a friend who carnes a deep pam because she grew up thinking her grandmother found her "ugly." The full meaning, underlying affection, and caring protectiveness of being called pupuka had been tragically lost. And this loss of context grows more pervasive. Not only do we withhold praise;

now it seems we just have a tradition of pointing out faults. As a result there is an unending erosion of trust, respect, and pride among Hawaiians. We inflict a spiritual violence on eaeh other whieh threatens our very being. Examples of this brutalizing of soul

and hope are rampant. Recently when the Congregational churches met to give substance to their national apology to native Hawaiians for the churches' role in the overthrow of the Kingdom, they were picketed and subjected to harsh criticism by certain groups and individuals. Christian eon-

I science and charity was not I encouraged, it was castigated. 1 What should have been a time 1 of thanksgiving became a I scene of shame. I When an accident occurred I on the H-3 project, certain I groups and individuals took I seeming delight in the injury I of construction workers. I Certainly, H-3 has been a 1 source of deep controversy

and pam among Hawanans, but there ean be no excuse for wishing pain to others. OHA, too, is also often the stage for' personalized attacks and needless, soul-numb-ing hurting. Honest disagreement - rooted in mutual respect - is healthy. That's how we all learn what's right and wrong about the different issues and choices

whieh eome before us for action. An informed decision requires tough-mindedness and rigor. But such decisions do not require - in fact, are subverted by - displays of personal anger

and mean-spirited attacks. No good is ever served by such behavior. That's why I refuse to use my committee meetings or these trustee columns as public whipping posts. If this self-destructive behavior were solely restricted to our public lives as Hawaiians, it would be - at best - a pity. But it also colors our personal lives and affects our families - and that's a tragedy. We must begin to take pride and show respect in our family, colleagues, and work. Let me provide some personal examples. Eaeh week, my son R.P. joins me at church. He works hard all week and I know it takes an extra effort for him to shave on Sunday, to iron an aloha shirt instead of pulling on his usual t-shirt, and take the time to polish his shoes. At first he did it for me; now he does it for himself. Praying together gives us a special peaee and closeness that I cherish and draw strength from throughout the rest of the week. This past weekend, I joined my daughter

at the state championship eanoe races. It takes determination and disciphne to paddle. Her four-woman team, won the state title in the "open division." Na'u was the steersman. She and her crew, like all the clubs gathered at Ke'ehi, glowed with the effort, energy, and success of being a good team. My youngest daughter, Sissi, lives in California with her husband and two ehildren. They struggle to make ends meet, and she's one of the best "eoupon elippers" I know. But, she took the time and thought to send me a matted "work of art." Four-year-old Travis had captured childhood joy - the colors were vibrant, flowing, and totally abstract. I'm proud of my children. I respect their differences and their choices. That doesn't mean I always like their choices, but I always love them. If we ean praise eaeh other, then we ean end the hurting. If we truly aloha kekahi i kekahi, then we ean end the spiritual violenee. That's the Hawaiian spirit. That's pupuka.