Ka Wai Ola - Office of Hawaiian Affairs, Volume 30, Number 8, 1 August 2013 — Living a healthful life in love, work and family [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

Living a healthful life in love, work and family

By Lisa Asato For many young women and girls, the idea of romantic love, marriage, career and having a family are some of the most important goals they strive for for fulfillment, happiness and satisfaction in their adult lives. But often, these goals that promise bliss, in reality, ean also be fraught with conflict, stress and grief. Aukahi Austin, a licensed elinieal psychologist, will be holding two Pūnohu workshops in the coming months to discuss how women ean navigate challenges in their love relationships and in the workplace. The workshops series - designed to "bring out the best in yourself across contexts" - will continue to explore similar topics in 2014, including parenting and a workshop designed for couples, with breakout sessions for men and women, tentatively planned around Valentine's Day. "My emphasis is always on the long, healthy, happy life. That's what we're shooting for," says Austin, who will be holding the workshops outside her role as executive director of the nonprofit I Ola Lāhui. Austin first presented a love and relationships workshop at the 'Aha Wahine in 2012. The response was overwhehning, and people have been

requesting more. "It was something I did because as a Native Hawaiian woman, these were the types of conversations I was having with my friends, with my family and also in my professional life - understanding that relationships are tricky in a modern context," she said. Whether it's discussing money management with your loved one, making time for sex and intimacy, or knowing when to get out of a relationship that just isn't bringing out the best in you or your partner, Austin say s the workshops will be presented with a Hawaiian world view applied in a modern context. The workshops include interactive discussions and exercises so people ean discuss the situations they're struggling with and get feedback from other women and from Austin. "That's what I really want to create, a community of women that have an opportunity to gather but also give them this support and things to think about - where what they leave with is maybe a changed perspective on their relationships and some specific things that they take home and they want to try to do differently," she said. In October, the workshop will focus on women in the workplace, a topic Austin often comes across in her role training young, up-and-coming psychologists. Discussions

will cover a range of issues, including negotiating salary, communicating effectively with your superior, demonstrating the effectiveness of your work to bring about positive results and dealing with conflict with a eoworker. The Pūnohu workshops are meant to address diverse topics - love, family and work - because while heahh means measurable things like blood pressure and heart rate, it also means mueh more to people. "I used to do this just for fun," Austin said, "I would go around and ask friends, 'How do you know that you're healthy in life?' . . . Invariably no one except for folks that had a very specific heahh eoneein at that time, like someone going through cancer at that moment, none of them said, my blood pressure is good, my doctor gives me good reports. None of them talked about physical heahh at all. What they talked about was my family relationships are strong, things are going well at work, ... I have enough time to play with my kids. So heahh means all these things."

Andbecause shebelieves that ' 'heahh ean beget heahh," she says "your love relationships is a great plaee to start ' ■

HEALĪH

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Aukahi Austin's Pūnohu workshop series begins this month with an interactive discussion for women on love and relationships. - Photo: LisaAsato