Ka Wai Ola - Office of Hawaiian Affairs, Volume 34, Number 5, 1 May 2017 — Broken Children Become Broken Adults [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

Broken Children Become Broken Adults

was impressed with articles written in the Maui News on the above subject by Paul Tonnessen, Executive Director, Friends of the Children's Jus-

tice Center of Maui, and Sheila Haynes, President; therefore I asked the writers' permission if I may eomhine thoughts they shared to bring their message to our Ka Wai Ola readers. Children who act out may appear strong but are surprisingly fragile inside. When their misbehaviors are met with an assault of adult force, they eome to believe that no one understands them or cares about their needs. This simply

motivates further acting out. We always need to look beyond a difficult behavior and ask ourselves: -What is the child really saying? -What does the child really need? What happens in early childhood ean matter for a lifetime: - Living with someone who is mentally ill or who has suicidal ideation - Experiencing divorce or parental separation - Living with someone who has an aleohol or drug problem - Being a victim or witness of neighborhood violence - Experiencing socioeconomic hardship - Witnessing domestic violence - Having a parent in prison - Being treated or judged unfairly due to race or ethnicity - Experiencing the death of a parent - Emohonal abuse - Physical abuse - Sexual abuse Early experiences inhuenee the developing brain. Chronic stress ean be toxic to this development. Significant early adversity ean lead to lifelong problems. Early intervention ean prevent the consequences of early adversity and stable, caring relationships are essential for healthy childhood development.

Adverse childhood experiences have a terrible effect on children's lives. Living in households where domestic abuse and violence are the norm

has a significant and adverse effect on the development and mental heahh of children. Suffering from abuse, be it physical, emotional, sexual, exploitative, trafficking or neglect, ean have a profound effect on the emotional well-being of children and their ability to grow up and realize their true potential as the future of our lahui. It takes a community to protect a child, and it is clear that

society has a role that is more important than ever before to protect those children who are at risk or who have suffered from significant harm. The challenge for communities and the societies in whieh they function is whether or not they are prepared to accept the responsibility that society clearly has in protecting children; for if they do not, and protecting children is seen as someone else's business, how ean we expect things to improve for the children who live within those communities? Children do well when they ean trust their parents to be stable, supportive and nurturing. Children thrive when they know they ean talk with their parents, share eoncerns and ask for help with small and big problems. The expression "It takes a village to raise a child" is absolutely true. Part of protecting children means that every child has someone in their lives who they trust and ean confide in. Aunties, uncles, grandparents, family friends, teachers, neighbors - yes, all of us ean step up and be a part of the "village." Eaeh of us ean help families be strong and children be healthy. I'd like to mahalo Paul Tonnessen and the Friends of the Children's Justice Center of Maui for the great work they do in Maui County. They are a non-profit whose main goal is to reach out to the youth who have been traumatized by abuse and severe neglect. They have penetrated our eommunities with one paid staff person and many dedicated volunteers. Mahalo nui loa. ■

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Carmen "Hulu" Lindsey Trustee, Maui