Ka Wai Ola - Office of Hawaiian Affairs, Volume 38, Number 10, 1 October 2021 — Parenting in the Pandemic [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

Parenting in the Pandemic

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By Dr. Kaiwipunikauikawēkiu Lipe It's tough being a parent during this pandemic! There's so mueh to consider to protect our keiki, ourselves, and our kūpuna. These are some of the strategies we've been using to do our best to stay safe: All those eligible have gotten vaccinated. I'm not saying that this is for everyone; it's just what our 'ohana chose. And it wasn't an easy decision. My parents got vaccinated as soon as they could, but my husband and I were a little hesitant. In fact, I'm a bit vaccination-weary most of the time. The hardest deci-

sion we had to make was whether or not to vaccinate our l4-year-old daughter. Ugh, talk about a stressful situation! We eventually decided to vaccinate her because it is a layer of protection and minimizes the possibility of her getting extremely sick and passing it on to others in our household, including our son who is too young to get vaccinated. Masks, masks, and masks. We are a fairly hardcore mask-wearing 'ohana. We wear masks to visit family and friends - even when they look at us like we are crazy. Our kids wear masks to play sports even if none of the other kids are wearing them. But I'll be honest, we got a little tired. The constant stares and the "Stop being so nervous, you ean take off your mask with us!" comments wore us down. But with the unprecedented rise in numbers and the Delta variant, we realized we had to re-commit. We sat everyone down in our house and we said, "We don't care who it is. If you are around someone outside of our household, you WILL WEAR A MASK. That includes when you go see Tutu or Grandpa." At the same time, I had to reach out to our loved ones and tell them, "Please don't take this personally, but we are going to wear masks every time we see you and we would appreciate it if you do the same. Please know this has nothing to do with us trusting you or you trusting us. We just don't want anyone to get sick." Those initial conversations were a little uncomfortable. But the more consistent we've been, the

easier it has gotten for everyone involved. Keeping our distance. Let's be clear: I'm a hugger! But the distance thing heeame extra real for us a eouple of months ago when someone who sat right next to our daughter without a mask for over 15 minutes tested positive a few days later. We are so happy that she had her mask on and that she eventually tested negative, but it was a real scare. Now we are not afraid to say, "No mask? Please back it up." Conversations. We've had serious and even uncomfortable eonversations with family and friends. We've also had to have a lot of conversations with our kids, including helping them practice what to say to others: "Kids, if someone comes up to you without a mask on, what ean you do or say?" At work I've had tons of conversations with my team. I want them to know my realities and I want to hear about theirs so we ean together figure out the best strategies to keep everyone healthy. This is what life has been like for us. Maybe if we share more stories and strategies, the more we ean work together to get these numbers down and keep our keiki and everyone else safe. ■

Dr. Kaiwipunikauikawēkiu Lipe leads UH Mānoa's Native Hawaiian Plaee ofLearning Advancement Office and Truth, Racial Healing, and Transformation Campus Center. She lives in ILo'olaupoko, O'ahu with her 'ohana.

Dr. Kaiwipunikauikawēkiu Lipe wilh her keiki "masked up" on a visit to the Honolulu Zoo. Vigilant mask-wearing is one of their 'ohana strategies for staying safe and healthy during the pandemic. - Photo: Courtesy