Hawaii Holomua, Volume II, Number 4, 5 January 1894 — PHORCED PHORACING [ARTICLE]

PHORCED PHORACING

— Successful Raids by Gcncral Scissors. Hc (tbbing for loving pr 1 tioua) —“Mj angsl, I do not, beliere I am worthy to be your husband.” She (lhoughlfully)— 1 “That's just what my mother : savs.” | ' | Editor fto youug reporter)—“I | eee you have headcd this aniele ! *Murder in Our Midst.’” Ropor- | ter—*‘Yes, sir.” Editor— ,4 You have swa!lowed pois«)n, then, I aupi pose?” ; Photographer—“Now, then, Mr. Crosser, if you please, look p!easant j for a moment—that’s it—a moment longer—there! You may now resume your natural expression.” A “harmless crank" is one that runs the grindstone by tbe aid of a boy. It is not subject to vio!ent turns. “Is Mi»s Hawkiue in?” asked Martin, “I dunno,’‘ said Rridget. “Who are you? : ’ ‘*Edward Martin." “No, sorr. She is out.“ “I see most ofyour hair is gone,” said Brown to Burton. “Yes f ” replied Burton, “it’s left for parts unknown.” Mr. Spurgeon himself gave the following instance of quick Irish retort: When the Pro-Calhedral at Kensington was being built Mr. Spurgeon happened to pass. He inquired of one of the wortmen what waa the building in cour«e of construction. “A CathoIic Cathedral," replied the man, who was Irish. "Ah, I ara very sorry to hear it,” said Mr. Spurgeon, earnestly. “So is the devil, sir.’’ promptly replied the man. Here’s another case of kid napping,” said the nessenger boy wbo found a comrade aaleep. It is supposed that tbe Iions iuto wbose den Uaniel was tbrown were «ociety lion«. They didn’t take any notice of bim, it will be remem- | bered. ) A newspaj>er in Japan is over 900 years old. Its projector is dead, and īta preseut proprietor says that 5f some of the original 8ubscr5bers donT pay up pretly soon, he’ll cross their names off his subscription books. It was a bright Boston «ehool girl who. when asked by her teacher to explain tbe meantng of tbe Sbake«perian phrase “Go tol" exelaimol:—“Oh, that is only the 16th century's expression of the 19tb century’a ‘Come off?’” Talk of tbere being no women cannibals! Tb:nk of tbe poet laureate! A medical journal says that a window in a sleeping chamber sboo!d always be !et down a few inehea at the iop, even in the coldeet weatber, in order to admit a littie fresh air; bat it is not alwayg safe to fullow the advice of a medical journal. A littie fresh air has been known to keep a maa awake all night, and transform him into a modernHerod—almooL An old sea-captain whoee schooner bad beeo pretty well knocked about by tbe recent ga:es. waa pioua eooogh to attend cburch and give Ihanka for his deHveraQce. One text th»t he beard tbere raised b:s ire, bowever. “Hur.iph:" he grow!ed. *“ *Those who go dowa to the aea in ships see the works of the Lord and ni» woodrn» oo ihe deep.’ V«ry likeiy tbey do: bu* thoē« who go down ia *chooner« see ahoel I”