Ka Hoku o Hawaii, Volume XXXIV, Number 30, 22 November 1939 — Untitled [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

TH!NGS TO BE THANKFUL FOR— T!iai \vo don"t Hve in Europe, Tlmt ChrNunas f<nnes only onee ū year. Th:ir ilhm'i' is i»nly one Monday 1: oniiiiii pt»r week. Tliat \ve don't have to i:et new >ns. 1 phites fov ilie par untll nfter Xi-w Yenrs. Tl>:u \v»' tiiu sluit the rudio off when we don*t like the prog*aw. That swiug. musie is d> ing— Tliat \ve stltl have a few teeth to eat Thanksgiving turkey w»th—»f. we 11 a«1 tlie turkey. ! T)i;)t \ve don't have to shovel snow nor wear lonjr •wooHen nnder-' wear in Hawaii. , T!i:i{ the Fetnandez e!rens left a fe\v dollars in town. T!i.-u \vc have enoush money to i.j;y ri:ristiiuis Seals. That we <lon t liave to to work ;it a.m. Th;it llep. "l!invily" Costa i$ such a eooil n:mired ehaii. Thal \ve don"t know how to play īiokei'. That there is nn ape limit for nrmy reeruits. Timt we don't huve to write this (iurned eolunin oftener than onee a week. THE HORRORS OF WAR Aeeordmg to a newi item, a Scotchman has invented a bagpīpe whieh ean be played contlnuousTy by use of a smat! etfctrfc motor and bettowfc. Now we know why the Germans are so anxious to get the war pver before the Scots start mass production. BONERS PULLEO BY HAWAiI Importinir myoba birds, Ditto mongooses. Ditto Samoan erabs. j OESERT POME NO. 48 j AM night on the desert ' Sit» Donald McWhorter; He's waiting for day)ight~ ] To find a iost quarter. Loeal frocer says lie doesa't like " >«!' nietlon movles. be<*nuse i ihey veTnind hiin mueh of some «f his eredit eustomers. HOPELESS

Little Streamlmes, our pretty but dumb office associate, «jLy« she wants to see th©se Chri«tmas «eaU «he is h«aring «e mueh about, but she 4o*sn % | under«tand , hew they manag« to keep Ihem a)ive In theee tropīcal water&. She th|nks the poor things must sufīer a iot f«tn the heat with aii that fui* on them. Sijrn tn a Honolulu restaurant: "Don*t tip the waiters; it uiijfht up sei ilieui. It isnt the Bolahivik« the Fmnt j «r« worrying so mueh «bout >t j the %o»«hl-vktims. A» wMMii killiHl a rat U»siuifc* th;it WHs tryius to ehArui o.m .!>».,) Kvi>r s:noe th:M HtTle! : e «,(! I'oen AHIU'! iS >; ,. v ~ 1 $OVRPuSS $AM SAVS;

Vo,- have to A«vctits« a ti\<suke — \ r-f fi .«no» i'l do it

wn; .« ' »«\V ,»WU W4UM Uu' t>HV siK>Ut! th«> UHo lious*>wi?v \v ho told her j to h«n? ihe e»ri>t>t t>o lhej doth««Hnv and hoai UT Flrst he! V'.. •; «*' «»t\! iU.. he "V a t tTj n , r, 0 u . V* | cfw«t r y t«rfi, he'? s . a <*< lh*l <*" J

HYMN OF HATE If sqtiirts who jro to movie shows To rest their shuflfling fcet, Wouid do the saine thlng for their mouthis 'Twould he s« pleasant treat. i ' * - > . •• WHY? THERE'S THE RUB j (From TJh]o Papēf) 1 The ladie< of the library had a , •oeial tea at the church parlor on Wednesday afternoor«. Miss j Kitty Black purred, , i Eastern newspaper tells of a man ] who was killeil hy "a flask of light-1 ning". Gosh, is Eastern hooieh as, bad as that? A House!ots woman says that if her husband could only use his snore in.a swjng bahd he could get a steady job. The neighbors thie.k he is iearning to play the trombone. BULL-ETIN

j (Kroin (ienuun iie\vspaper) | ",If Kngland forees us to tlght the j war to tlie last, she, for the tirst tiUHi after isolation of 900 years, will be brought dire<nl\ into eontact with the horrors of war." 1939 aimile: As regular as the annual meeting of the officers and directors of Ka Hoku O Hawi». BARGE WITH PLANE PARTS 3lNKS—Newspaper heaiiline. Preautuably it took a nose dive. "Women and chlldren flr«t," «•W the king of the cann]balt as he ordered hle chef to prepare dinner. NEVER TRUST FRIENDS, ROWDY Rep. "Rowdy ' Oosta went flshiiig »»ue iast week. He knew tliere was a big fish ,ln the immediate ?ieinity because it snapi>ed off his bait. A fri«?iul of his from the wunty engiiieer's offlee went with him. When Rowdy reached for more bait it was gone and he has a pretty good ldea where Jt wenl htvause he notived snid friend was just swaslo\ving soTnethīng ane! j ).;ul tnore >ir !e>is of a siuiUy look I ou, liis pati. Now who do you st»p- -] pose has su.h a \eu for ra\v f!sh? f - 1 ! DUMBEST HEAPLINE »N j [ MtDWCSTERN NIWSPAPER: ! **AutoiSt F;ne4 For Narrow!y | j Misslng | 1 . 1 ! Tf t>.e nermnns invnde Hol*and. !;ho Puiehmoii will thK>d the eoun !try, erpn lf li mins Uie « v otlre tollp' jcn«K | ' Cerman planes raided the $het «•nd i»iand«, but di4n\ hit * e-n- j a*« p«*y. j The t;ersnnn- stUk J.<se to iho Bhlu« A«tl ktTj> \ve!l undtr their corcr; liai beCt>re Uit\y te t>thcr sidc Thiw wor(d wav \\lH well o\*»r. I AccordiHfi to a ntwspai>*r fill*;\ ! ī )taty ha* $3,000 thre«hiriig ma j ehmea, f!icludtng Mueaoiin*. of ] ccut». ! H 'o «u: »h- »>}:hl«M i'i' 'o- t."hr;vs ' ' *r,v u;;"v ih.it perh*d ! l«md wi!i nt*> owly nsht t I tuU.s.v 4MX*sr«iuss. i HWlywood *Ctru«, CdnA 8««t, is to *Hno Va *pptj * . ilvsr<ce. Mr. |«(t t« |>neMr«d f« r , 1 th» w«r«t. * W«Ml» WalfM(r*«s ihetx v ] \ v .vr ou . N . v is> wliH'. Uu,\ *■<■:*'> V Yv <o > i>e* v^i 11 . '